hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
