Having a random hookup so left but love u
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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