shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize