I'm jealous of your bromance
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Randomize
