I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Randomize
