Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
