Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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