I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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