I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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