Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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