sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
