I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
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