Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
