That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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