drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
