I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
