billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
It's blow job season.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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