we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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