Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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