so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
