I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
