Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
wow bdsm is so cute
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
