It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
