Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize