We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
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