no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Randomize
