Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
