STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
