i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
