hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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