Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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