I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
