u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
