She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
