Tell her she can't have a vagina
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Randomize
