The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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