oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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