I think my fart just growled at me.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Randomize