K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
