My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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