i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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