he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
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