You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Sober January is a disaster.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize
