But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
