i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
