After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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