i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Randomize