dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
