I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
