OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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