What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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