so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize