I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
