you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
