Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize