You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
