I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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