my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
