Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
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