escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
